I don’t know where the days are going guys. It feels like ever since we have come back from Asia, we have dove straight into work and being young 20-somethings just living their lives. We have spent nights with family, with friends, at games, at the movies, cleaning the house, working. We have tried to plan multiple beach trips but there’s always been something else taking us away from that (a party, being lazy, shopping, work). And suddenly I’ve been back in Sydney for longer than my holiday in Asia, which tbh, did feel quite long and I definitely experienced a bit of homesickness at some point (because, you know, I missed my bed and home cooking a lot).
I don’t think we have had one night of quiet since we have come back. We decided to build a home gym in our house, on a whim, over the last few days. That’s the sort of shit that we do. We get big ideas then we go out and do them. We get super excited about our ideas and dive into them 200% and we usually achieve what we set out to do which is always super exhilarating, but then on the other end I find myself saying:
“Why am I so bloody tired?”
And then I kind of realise it’s because I keep staying up till 2am browsing Pinterest for home gym decor, or I am watching another show, or I am working, or I’ve overstayed my welcome at mum’s house because I keep eating her food, or we have friends over on a Saturday night. The list is endless.
I feel like before I know it, I’m going to be 30, and the womb will be calling and suddenly I will be like, what the fuck? When did I become 30 and where did my 20’s go?
Cejay is turning 25 this year. Smack bang, mid 20’s. And it’s both excited and terrified me. It’s a quarter of a century and we have achieved so much for our age. It reminds me that we have come so far yet have so much to live for. It reminds me that we are still so young, there is so much left to explore. And it also means that I will have known this man for a decade, a man I have watched grow from the teenager forever locked away in my memories.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m happy. I’m happier than ever. Life is truly amazing at the moment and maybe that’s why I’ve been able to go at full speed for almost 3 weeks now with literally – and I mean LITERALLY no rest. Like, here I am craving a night where I can just sit on the couch as soon as I come home from work. We have not had a night like that at all. We have spent less time in our house than I would like. I don’t think I’ve had a sleep that has lasted longer than 7 hours. My shortest so far has been 2. Yeah, I’m serious.
And that was last night. I had a total of 2 hours sleep. Then I woke up and went to work early. I didn’t end up taking a lunch break and will continue to be working tonight, which I will fit in with going over to my mother-in-law’s house for dinner. I think if I didn’t love my work, I would not be able to do this (which was the case for me last year when I was in a different field). But now, gosh I love it. So I don’t mind now.
Of course, that sort of thing isn’t sustainable. I can’t keep going the way I have for the last 3 weeks. The thing is, I like seeing our families. I like seeing our friends. I like going to the movies and we have made a pact to spring clean the entire house and tbh, I really like organising. I’m someone that loves to tick things off a list.
I spent a majority of last year, when I was in a job I disliked, being so dispassionate about life. I procrastinated and I felt incredibly lazy. Now I am feeling a lot more like myself, and I am someone who just loves to get things done FAST.
Maybe, just maybe, I’ll have some rest this weekend. But for now, I have a meeting at 7pm tomorrow and I am probably seeing my friends on Friday and Saturday, and there is a big family event day at the beach (yay the beach finally!) on Sunday (after one of Cejay’s soccer games at 9 in the morning) so um, Sunday night might be relaxing?