Over the years, I’ve been trying to figure out what makes me truly happy. A lot of it are the little things. Like a cup of tea, flowers, candles, food, strawberries, a glass of red wine. It doesn’t have to be big things all the time. I don’t need to be going on big trips or planning holiday after holiday.
After Cejay and I got married, I was a little worried about what life would be like after the wedding. For over two years, we were thinking and planning about the wedding. It was a process I mostly enjoyed. I think a big part of it was that big expectation of something big happening – the fact that there was something to look forward to.
Something I know about myself is that if I don’t have something to look forward to, I tend to spiral into a bit of a depression. I have been depressed a few times in my life at different stages, and it’s always difficult to get myself out of it. It’s something that’s taken me years and lots of trial and error to try and understand myself and the triggers, and what actually helps me in feeling better. Depression and anxiety are hand in hand for me. When the anxiety gets too much, the depression tends to set in. The fact is, anxiety, for me, is a normal fact of life. I have started to learn ways to control it, but I know that if I let it rule my life, it starts getting harder to face my day each morning, and I become an extreme pessimist.
So, over the years, I’ve learnt that usually I:
- Need something to look forward to; and
- Need to fill my days with little happy things.
1 and 2 above don’t necessarily need to be extravagant things. I am happy enough looking forward to going to my parent’s house for dinner. I am happy enough looking forward to reading a new book. Or watching a new show. Or eating a particular meal.
The little happy things are what I have already mentioned. They don’t need to be expensive. I don’t need to be going to Europe every year to make me feel happy.
It’s those things, that when done each day, contribute to my overall happiness and a feeling of peace in my life. This is not something I learnt overnight, but probably over a course of 10-15 years.
If you find that you’re struggling with anxiety and depression, find those happy little things. It could be something as small as walking your dog each afternoon, or enjoying a small block of chocolate each day. Those small things can’t be underestimated, and I feel like in today’s world full of Instagram photos of people with their Chanel bags and holidays to Ibiza, those materialistic goods and wants can really get in the way of just being happy with those little things that don’t cost that much, but provide you with a huge source of happiness.