30 thoughts that go through every 20-something year old girl during a night out

Every time I’ve agreed to go for a night out, I always go through the same dilemmas in my head. Here are 30 thoughts that go through every 20-something year old girl during a night out on the town:

  1. Week and days leading up to the night out: OMG SO EXCITED! Going to drink all the alcohol and have the best time EVER.
  2. Friday at 5pm: this weekend is going to be so great, I wonder what I’m going to wear.
  3. Friday evening: tries on ALL the dresses and can’t find ANYTHING to wear. I wonder if I order something from Asos right now, it’ll get here in time with express shipping? But who wants to pay for express shipping…
  4. Saturday: ughhhhhh I just wanna sleep all day and I just want to order in take out and put on a face mask and do my nails. I don’t want to get dressed up.
  5. Approximately 5 hours before heading out: put on some music, have a glass of wine and so it begins…. face mask, make up, hair, nails, and trying on a million outfits with a million shoe and bag combos…
  6. When you should be leaving – still not ready.
  7. Leave late.
  8. Hey, these heels are actually super comfortable, and they look AMAZING.
  9. Pure excitement as you meet up with your friends and gush about how great the night will be.
  10. Entering said bar or restaurant and scoping out what everyone else is wearing.
  11. Concentrating super hard on the menu because suddenly you’re STARVING.
  12. Ordering food and ALL the drinks.
  13. Eating all the food and … am I on my 3rd or 4th drink now? WHO CARES
  14. Suddenly 3 hours have passed and the restaurant is trying to kick you out.
  15. Tottering outside in high heels and trying to decide where to go next.
  16. Eventually deciding on a place after a shameful amount of time and now experiencing the dreadful walk in heels to the next venue.
  17. Is it really hot or is it just me?
  18. Ouch.
  19. Ouch.
  20. Ouch.
  21. Oh thank goodness we’ve arrived.
  22. Great, we can’t find a seat.
  23. Ouch. My feet are going to fall off.
  24. Music is so good here – what did she just say to me? Just nod. Just nod and smile.
  25. MORE DRINKS.
  26. You can now no longer remember what is happening due to your intoxicated state. Bright flashes everywhere.
  27. Suddenly you’re in a taxi home and you don’t know why – you can still keep going! (Or so you think)
  28. Waking up the next morning awfully hungover, with flashes of last night, an empty bank account, mascara down your face, and – who are these people in my photos from last night on my phone?
  29. Hangover hell – never. drinking. again
  30. Approximately 12 hours after hangover, you finally start feeling alive and message your friends how great last night was and when’s the next one?!

Re-visiting Childhood

 

HP

Towards the end of 2015, I had this yearning to re-read the Harry Potter books. It’s probably been a good 5-6 years since I have read them. I don’t think I read the final book more than once. I read the other books repeatedly, in an effort to contain my excitement for the 5th, 6th and 7th books to be released.

I was only in Kindergarten when Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was released. I started reading them in 4th grade when the first movie was released which had me hooked. Even to this day, watching the first movie provides a sense of magic (pun intended) that I don’t feel the other movies (except for maybe the second movie) provide.

Since moving out of home, I have mostly kept my books in my old bedroom at my parent’s house, as I have not yet found a suitable bookcase (read: a bookcase I am happy to purchase because I am so picky when it comes to furniture) to display all of my books. Every time I went home to visit my parents and brothers, I would constantly forget to bring the books home with me.

Then last week I received the shock and sad news that Alan Rickman, aka, Professor Snape to me, had passed. I received that message through a 3am Facebook message from one friend, and a 6am text from another, all in caps, all in shock, that he had passed.

To be honest, I’ve never really been affected by a ‘celebrity’ passing before. The only one that’s come close is when I walked downstairs all those years ago to my brother saying “hey guess what? Michael Jackson died.” I thought he was joking for a bit because he is always fooling around, but to find out it was actually true did stop me in my tracks.

This was different though. Although I enjoyed Michael Jackson, I did not grow up in his prime. But I grew up to Harry Potter. I grew up to Alan Rickman and his distinct voice. I grew up to watching him on screen on those 8 movies which spanned over a decade, and reading those books hearing his voice every time Professor Snape spoke.

Therefore when I visited my parents on Saturday, I went upstairs to my bedroom and ensured that I grabbed my very old, very tattered copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. I have not touched this book in years. It has mostly remained as it was, back when I begged my mother to purchase it for me when I was about 9 or 10 years old. I am about halfway through the book now, and I have noticed a huge spillage of food that has stained multiple pages, dirty fingerprints, and I’ve tried to be gentle with the very delicate and scruffy softcover.

I have completely forgotten the style of writing. I have completely forgotten the detail. Reading this book again has reminded me of childhood. It’s reminded me of that MAGIC. I have been completely immersed in the story just like the first time. And gosh, the book is so bloody good.

It’s reminded me of how much simpler times were back then. As a child, my biggest gripe was “why is it taking J.K Rowling so long to release the next book?!”

I think over the last several years, I have been so consumed by growing up. Getting into uni, getting good marks, getting a job, getting married, moving out. Ticking off all those boxes. And I know they’re great factors of life, definitely. But life isn’t just about ticking off those boxes. Life is also about enjoyment. And especially, to me, enjoyment of the little things. A good book. The sound of the ocean. The sun streaming in through the window in the morning. A good cup of tea. A good conversation.

I do not spend much time with children as I don’t really have any around me on a daily basis. But in a way, reading this favourite childhood novel is allowing me to rediscover my childhood. My inner child (because we all have one). And I’m glad, because it’s allowing me to view the world in a different way, and different perspective is always precious to have.

My aim is to re-read the entire series. And after that, I want to lose myself in other series. I am ashamed to say that I have not read the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and I completely intend to rectify my lack of Tolkien in 2016. Are there any other good series that you would recommend?

 

The Weekend: 16-17 January 2016

This is a series I will be posting regularly here on the blog. I’m all about creating memories, and I think it is unfortunately part of human nature to focus on the bad rather than the good. It seems that time moves so fast and we tend to forget the good times. So this is a way to reflect positively and also keep the memory of time spent with family and friends alive.

So, this is how I spent my weekend:

  • Waking up in Ettalong, Sydney. The past week my husband, Cejay and I were spending some down time with his family in a beautiful resort. It is a tradition that we do every year. The days are filled with swimming, eating and board games with the tennis that is usually happening in Sydney on in the background.
  • Knowing it was the last day and not wanting to get out of bed.
  • Lazily packing our bags while appreciating the sunshine streaming in from the sliding doors. We had a room that overlooked the beautiful pool.
  • Taking our bags down to the car so that we could be empty handed to help Cejay’s mother, aunt and nan.
  • Getting caught in the 10am check out rush.
  • Grabbing some brunch and having the most delicious brioche with strawberries, banana, ricotta and a drizzle of honey. And a strong flat white.
  • Having a look around the local shops for Cejay’s aunt to buy something cute for her new granddaughter.
  • Enjoying the drive home.
  • Opening the door and being grateful to be home after a week away. The holiday was lovely but there is nothing better than home.
  • Collapsing on the sofa and spending time with our cute little cat, Zara, who had spent time with my brother and missed us greatly.
  • Lazily watching episodes of Parks and Recreation – we have recently become addicted.
  • Heading over to my parents house to eat pho – one of my favourite foods in the world. I was basically raised on pho from the womb – my mother used to eat it every single day when she was pregnant, and would take me down when I was a toddler to get some pho.
  • Eating pho way too fast and feeling way too full.
  • Catching up with my brother about his recent trip to Jervis Bay, NSW.
  • Chatting away with my mother.
  • Marvelling at my dad’s good job at re-painting their house.
  • Heading to the shops to purchase a birthday present and doing a quick veggie shop.
  • Getting ready for a friend’s 21st.
  • Catching up with friends, eating good food and sampling Butterbeer for the first time.
  • Getting into the pool and having a swim.
  • Feeling incredibly tired and heading home at almost 2am.
  • Collapsing into bed which was greatly missed – hotel beds never are the same.
  • Sleeping in.
  • Deciding it was a PJ day after the couple weeks of fun and excitement we’d had.
  • Watching various episodes of our favourite shows and having the classic Mi Goring for lunch.
  • Finally getting dressed and heading to Costco to restore some basics.
  • Ordering Indian for dinner – we had a craving.
  • Eating our dinner way too quickly.
  • Enjoying our quiet evening together.
  • Heading to bed to get ready for a busy week.BeachEttalong poolBriochePho

Growth

As a 23 year old, I tend to think about life. A lot.

What am I supposed to be doing? Am I happy? Do I suddenly want a baby? Do I want 4 babies? Do I want to travel overseas? Do I even have money to travel overseas? Do I want that dress? Do I want that bag? How can I get enough money for a Chanel bag? Do I want to dye my hair silver? Am I hungry? Yes. What do I want to eat? I DON’T KNOW

Life is bewildering. It has, strangely, become harder since I finished university and entered the work force. I am no longer governed by university or school timetables. I no longer have allocated holidays each semester. I no longer have various weekdays free that I used to take for granted (I mean, have you ever tried dealing with a bank or doctors when they are only open during your working hours? Seriously, how does that even make sense?)

I now deal with the realities of bills, a limited amount of annual leave days, expensive flights and hotel prices if I ever want to go anywhere as I can only do these things on weekends. I have slowly morphed into a 50 year old who enjoys spending time on the couch all weekend, every weekend. Well, that is what I’d prefer to be doing, but my group of friends (who are all incredibly lovely) like to actually do things which means I need to get off the couch and actually socialise.

Don’t get me wrong – I consider myself an adventure lover. I LOVE the outdoors, I feel alive at the beach and I love going out. But there was definitely a period in my life, which I am still trying to get over the effects of, where I was studying full time finishing off a bachelors and doing a graduate certificate simultaneously, working full time, planning a wedding and moving out, ALL AT ONCE. It was insane, it was crazy. It meant I was out of the house from 7.30am each morning to head to work, going immediately to night classes after work and coming home at around 10.30pm most nights, where I would wolf down a very late dinner and absolutely FORCE myself to study for the next day’s class. I had little sleep, I ate horribly, I was exhausted, but due to my personality, I kept going and steamrolled through all of it.

I did that for about 18 months. But it definitely took its toll. I had only just turned 21 when that started.

That period in my life was 18 months ago from now. It is still taking its toll. It’s caused me to search through my soul deeply, and some of the answers I have found has caused me to truly question myself. More annoyingly, some of the answers are still yet to be found, which frustrates me.

But that’s life. I’m incredibly young, and I know that others my age experience this as well. This soul-wrenching, soul-crushing, soul-searching extravaganza where we are trying to figure out who we are in a world full of possibilities, opportunities, and choice.

So this is what this blog is going to be about. I’ve thought about this blog a lot. I’ve started others in years past and never really felt like what I was writing was me. But now, at this time in my life, I need to write it down. Because I thought I’d have it together by now. In some instances, I do. I have a gorgeous husband – and I consider myself so incredibly fucking lucky to have him because the way we got together and the way we are is a rare story (we’ve been together since we were 15) and I am completely aware that not everyone gets together with the love of their life in high school.

But there is also a part of me which is SURPRISED. I finished school, I got the job. Why wasn’t I completely happy? Why was I craving other things? I was supposed to be ‘set’. And I was. But being ‘set’ in life and being happy can sometimes mean completely different things.

I’m going to explore this on this blog as I wonder through life and learn, learn, learn. I hope that this will become a platform for us to share our experiences together. Because we are NOT alone. No way. Everyone has their path, everyone has their insecurities and questions and gosh, sometimes it is just easier to pour your heart out in words and let it all out there. Because that way I know I’m going to grow. And I hope you will grow with me.